it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
