im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT