Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(316): View more from Kansas

I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper

(785): View more from Kansas

He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.

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(316): I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper (785): He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not. http://tfl.nu/pqqj

Replies (32) Good night (3199) Bad night (917)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Odds of those being real?

(614): View more from Ohio

One in who gives a fuck

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(202): Odds of those being real? (614): One in who gives a fuck http://tfl.nu/agkd

Replies (91) Good night (4818) Bad night (536)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen

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(864): I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen http://tfl.nu/n18y

Replies (34) Good night (6732) Bad night (1332) Order T-Shirt
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(302): View more from Delaware

It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.

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(302): It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it. http://tfl.nu/3oo8

Replies (17) Good night (640) Bad night (5649) Order T-Shirt
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(908): View more from New Jersey

it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.

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(908): it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season. http://tfl.nu/4nsl

Replies (23) Good night (1416) Bad night (3721) Order T-Shirt
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.

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(508): champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control. http://tfl.nu/zcsv

Replies (5) Good night (3514) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
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(540): View more from Virginia

I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments

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(540): I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments http://tfl.nu/peng

Replies (7) Good night (5829) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
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(815): View more from Illinois

Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.

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(815): Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool. http://tfl.nu/9aum

Replies (12) Good night (3021) Bad night (902)
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(319): View more from Iowa

I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.

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(319): I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can. http://tfl.nu/h4v8

Replies (4) Good night (1531) Bad night (565) Order T-Shirt
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(310): View more from California

I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.

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(310): I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied. http://tfl.nu/wnhg

Replies (13) Good night (4410) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
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(239): View more from Florida

All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth

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(239): All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth http://tfl.nu/rwpm

Replies (9) Good night (624) Bad night (1564) Order T-Shirt
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(520): View more from Arizona

She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.

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(520): She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers. http://tfl.nu/zf1p

Replies (12) Good night (1882) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE

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(612): Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE http://tfl.nu/81rr

Replies (3) Good night (1162) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt
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(785): View more from Kansas

When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.

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(785): When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die. http://tfl.nu/c7go

Replies (4) Good night (1296) Bad night (327) Order T-Shirt
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.

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(479): Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question. http://tfl.nu/6lny

Replies (6) Good night (735) Bad night (277) Order T-Shirt

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