I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.