dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet