Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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