That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
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He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
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If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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