do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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