Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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