She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
