He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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