Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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