I look better un-naked...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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