Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
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Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
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idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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