We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
