Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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