also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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