Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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