Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I would fuck him just for his dog
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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