If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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