Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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