I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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