I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law