I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.