Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?