New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
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I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
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Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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