tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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