I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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