Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS