I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.