we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.