i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?