brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...