I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.