Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
