We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
