Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize