My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
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I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
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Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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