yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize