I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize