So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
