What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
