BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize