watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
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threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
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I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN