i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER