I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"