WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos