everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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