i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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