He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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