Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
