i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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