She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
