You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize