If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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