i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
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Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
I want a musical about memes.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.