the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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