clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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