i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream