TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic