I think about you every night.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?