please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
