i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
