Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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