bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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