I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize